For many of us, the last months of the year and the first months of the new year mean less exposure to sunlight, more visits with loved ones due to holiday gatherings, and a fuller social schedule than usual. If this is your first season with a baby in tow, things are probably going to be a little different this go around and you might need to alter your expectations quite a bit. It might feel hard to see how you’ll be able to have the holiday and traditions that you’re used to with a little one who has thrown off your daily norm and has never spent a night away from home.
Here are my four tips for getting through the busy season peacefully with healthy boundaries and a realistic outlook for what lies ahead. I hope that you’ll be able to make the most of things, enjoy this time the best you can, and feel confident, seen, and heard amid all of the hustle and bustle.
- Keep things simple.
For whatever reason during the holidays, people love to go overboard with planning and festivities. However, it’s wise for your first holiday season with a baby to be low-key and straightforward. Sharing the joy that a new baby can bring with loved ones is – for some – all the excitement that will be needed!
If you can avoid traveling, this would undoubtedly be the year to do so. Take advantage of having a newborn, and allow the holidays to come to you. Look into meal-delivery options or splurge on takeout for a few days. Whatever you can do to simplify the holidays will go a long way in not only protecting your mental health but lessening the stress on your physical health as well. Think through what you can do that brings you joy around this time of year, but that doesn’t require a ton of effort and energy that you likely don’t have.
- Set expectations – and boundaries – early.
Traveling with an infant requires preparation as does braving a crowd of well-meaning, but germy loved ones. Having conversations with the hosts of the gatherings you’ll be attending, explaining that it’s your strong desire that NOBODY will be kissing the baby, not even on the tops of their heads, is important. Ask if they have hand sanitizer to supply for the guests or offer to bring some to set out for the group to use.
Babywearing is a great, subtle way to minimize unwanted contact with your baby. It allows you to be in the social environment, without having your baby exposed to quite as much. Large gatherings can be very over-stimulating for infants so to have them close to your body and comforted by your sound, smell, and touch can be a total game-changer.
You’re in charge of this tiny human and it’s your job now to create a nurturing environment that suits both your baby’s needs and your own comfort. When visitors want to come over, let them know your baby’s schedule and the best time for you. Don’t feel like you have to accommodate everyone. Not only is your baby adjusting to an ever-changing environment, but so are you and anyone else in the family who’s still learning how to do life with a newborn.
- Prioritize rest.
Many newborns and infants seem to have no sleep routine at all, but they do tend to respond to the establishment of sleep patterns slowly over time. Whenever possible, follow your regular sleep plan throughout the holidays, as best you can. Things like bringing pajamas with you to an event that leads up to bedtime is a good idea so that you can get the baby into their night clothes and have one less step in the bedtime process once you’re back home.
If you have a sound machine (like this affordable, portable option that I recommend to clients all the time), be sure to bring that with you whether you’re planning to be somewhere overnight away from home or if you’re planning to have your baby sleep in another room at the gathering that you’re attending. Having the consistent sounds that the baby would have at home can signal to them that they’re in a safe sleep environment and trigger the calmness that their nervous system needs to wind down for sleep.
- Think ahead and make a list.
Create a list of all of the daily essentials you use for life with a baby to make sure that nothing important is left behind. Whether you’re just a short drive away from home or you’re across the country, it can be a real killjoy to realize you left home without a key item that you use. The fear of realizing you don’t have enough diapers or that you left the baby’s favorite pacifier behind can be nerve-wracking. However, some smart planning and a detailed checklist can ensure that your bags are packed with all the things you need from home.
If you’ll be staying with friends or family, communicate with your hosts in advance if things come up in your plan that require specific things like a quiet place to feed baby throughout the day, a separate room for baby to sleep at night, extension cords for sound machines or electronics, and more.
However you are spending the holiday season, I hope you are able to focus on the things that are most important to you. Remember: saying “no” is a complete sentence, setting healthy boundaries is a good thing, and intentionally carving out time for rest is a wise move.
You’ll never get these firsts with your baby again so take this opportunity to really slow down, bond with those you love, and create new ways to celebrate that feel grounding, healthy, and good to you down to your core.