The idea of having a doula attend your birth may be new to you, your partner, and your family. You may want a doula at your birth, but you may not be sure about how she is going to fit in with the rest of your pregnancy and birth plans. Read on to learn more about some common reasons this transition can be tricky. We’ll bust some common myths and show you how you can easily include your doula.
Does a Doula Replace My Partner or Mother?
Absolutely not! The folks who have known you long before you became pregnant are so important to your pregnancy journey! Your doula is there to add support to the friends and family you already have around you.
Is a Doula a Medical Professional?
No, a doula is not a medical provider like your OBGYN or Certified Nurse Midwife. Your doula may have been trained to be a nurse or medical professional, but if they are hired to be your doula they are only working in a non-medical way. Doulas will not do what your provider does like take your blood pressure, perform vaginal exams, cervical checks, or deliver your baby during birth.
Why Do I Need a Doula If I Have My Family’s Support?
A doula is specially trained to support in the birth setting. They have the skills and knowledge to help you manage your pain, understand your choices, and advocate for you. Your doula’s goal is to make sure your birth wishes are honored safely. Your family members will support you in ways that a doula can’t because they know you. Your doula will support you in their own way because they know birth.
Your doula will let your family support you in a way that feels right for you and them. It should never come down to a choice or competition between your family and your doula. If, for some reason, you can only choose a certain number of people to be in the room with you when you deliver, it will come down to what you want! You have the power to decide who is there supporting you when you give birth. Having these conversations early is important and letting your friends and family know what you choose can help avoid stress as your due date gets closer.
How Will I Explain My Doula to My Family?
Remember that you do not have to explain why you are making the choices that you are making. You deserve to feel comfortable, safe, and supported when you give birth. That includes having people there who can provide that comfort for you. This is easier said than done, especially when it comes to the people in your life that you’re closest to, like friends and family.
This can be hard because it may bring up negative feelings or the feeling that maybe they aren’t good enough to support you or that you don’t want them there. Whether or not that is the case, it’s important to focus less on that, and more on the benefits of having a doula. Of course, your family and friends want to support you, but it can bring them great comfort to know that you are being supported by a person who is trained to know exactly what they’re doing. Focusing on all of the great things your doula can do for you and your family, can make the conversation positive!
Understanding doula support for yourself is one thing, but explaining it to your family and friends is another. Hopefully, this helps your family understand why this person is an important member of your care team. That way you can have your friends, family, and doula work together to support you.